Dear Teen Me

Dear teen me,

I know you're hurting, I know that pain that won't go away, no matter how many times you try and cut it out. You're only sixteen and if life were perfect you would be free and happy and you would wake every morning with the sun on your cheek. But the world is cold and your body is falling away from you.

I know what its like to lay awake at night and wonder why my heart is still beating, my blood still pounding in my ears. I know what it's like to hold my breath until my lungs scream and my head aches. I know what it's like to want to die.

Would you believe me if I told you it gets better? If I could hold you and tell you that the sun will shine and time will help heal your wounds, would you finally be able to smile? If I told you that the marks on your arms aren't worth your time, would you trust me?

Please, take a moment to listen.

If I could I would take away all the bad, all the memories, the taunts and the hate. I would pull you into the light and show you who you really are, beautiful on the inside and out. I would take away the blade and heal your wounds and kiss your skin because you're too precious to feel so alone. I would shower you in love and remind you of the bonds of family that will never let go. I would hold you and tell you that tears heal and let you grow. If I could I would go back, back to our childhood and change everything. There would be no words striking our backs, no ugliness pounding our skin. We would love our bodies; all of it and everyone would accept that. Kids would laugh with us, and we would share the world and laugh and cry and play together.

But that's something I cannot do.

What I can do is remind you of all the things that wait for you. Push through all this badness, all the things that are happening, survive it, fight it and you will be reborn a better person. You will rise from the ashes of all your pain and rise above to be someone you never knew. Fight the will to die and accept the longing to live, to achieve and dream and feel and love. Live to breathe and create and imagine and be.

Live to share with others what you want now—acceptance, love, patience and a caring heart. Reach out as you so want others to do now and spread the word that healing is possible and that the sun will rise to cast her warmth upon your cheek.

I know you're scared. You're only sixteen. The world is a place of uncertainty, of pain and fear. But it's also a place of magic and endless opportunity. Please, dear me, fight through the madness and I promise, I will be here to lead you back into the light.

Be strong,
Jessica